The sexual and spiritual abuse I suffered as an adolescent could have destroyed me, and very nearly did. For many years I was unable to see the profound ways my life had changed as a result of the abuse, because I could only view my experiences as a victim. Now, having reached a place of complete healing, I am able to view my experiences from a very different perspective.

Sexual abuse left me feeling unsafe in the world and unable to protect or care for myself. Spiritual abuse left me feeling unloved by God and unworthy of love by people. With time I have learned that not only am I safe, capable and strong, I am also loving, loveable and worthy of love, and always had been. With time, I was able to accept that the things in my life which had caused me the most distress and hurt were, in fact, the very things that polished me, honed me, and refined me.

I became aware that the things I was most grateful for didn’t include my professional success or the meaningful relationships I enjoyed. I was most appreciative for the things that had caused me the most intense pain, not the things that had brought the most profound joy. The abuse that I had run from and refused to face for so many years was the very thing that filled my life with meaning and purpose; it was what propelled me forward. So I cannot look at the trauma and abuse as detrimental or harmful now, because everything I’d perceived as injurious was working to help me see the perfection of life, and the perfection within myself.

I am the strong, outspoken, confident man that I am today, precisely because of the actions of the people who hurt and harmed me the most. Now, from a place of profound healing and freedom, I share my lived experiences in order to help others, victims and organizations alike, struggling to cope with and move beyond sexual and/or spiritual abuse. Healing is possible!